his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
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