you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize