Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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