I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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