i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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