i barfeds in our rink
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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