Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize