And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
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We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
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she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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