You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize