that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
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Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
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I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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