Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize