You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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