i already hear my dad disowning me
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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