So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I supernannyed him into submission
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