It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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