youre lurking in front of me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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