Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Randomize