I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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