I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize