i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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