When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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