He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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