coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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