i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
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Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
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Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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