How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Life is so much better after having sex.
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I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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