Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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