So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
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I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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