If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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