I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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