Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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