I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
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there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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