You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize