she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
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His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
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Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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