we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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