Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize