I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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