talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize