I feel like I'm in dance class right now
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
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She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
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I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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