My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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