were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
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well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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