its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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