I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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