By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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