I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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