She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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