So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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