first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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