no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
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I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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