we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
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One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize