I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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